I am not in a good place today. I don’t exactly know why except that the last two days were very different from my normal routine. I wish that I had just gone straight to bed when I got home yesterday instead of hanging out and playing games and making cookies and making candles. I feel strange about saying that but I think if I had made that choice I would feel more in control today. I feel odd about it because usually my rant is, “I don’t have any friends.” But today it’s closer to, “Friends, please let me sleep!”
I can’t focus so I can’t get any work done at work. And I don’t have any chocolate but even if I did I really don’t need it because sitting on my butt at work is making me fat enough. [Thank you Gawker] And I’m supposed to work extra hard this week to be able to take two days off to go back to Vermont. I know I just came back from there, but due to a small planning mistake, boyfriend wasn’t able to accompany me. So we’re going back at the end of this week since our friends have this condo timeshare for a whole week.
I know enough about myself to know that if I’m in a funk it’s usually biological, and the emotions I ascribe to the feeling are really just me reaching for convenient (and not necessarily correct) explanations. But it’s hard to fix the biological issues. I am tired and I feel like I need down time to do exactly what I want to do, which is nothing. But I always need much more time to do nothing than I think I do. Doing nothing takes a long time!